Introductions, introductions.  I always feel as if I’m terrible at selling myself to new people.  I’m a bit of an introvert but I crave community… it is a constant dance of trying to find a balance between being a hermit and being social. 

Anyway, about me.  I’m in my 50’s and learned about paganism and Wicca when I was in high school.  My foray into the world of witchcraft began with a book – Witches by Erica Jong.  A mix of fact and fiction, poetry and watercolor; it captivated my younger self.  The words ‘herstory’ and ‘Goddess’ and ‘magic’ entranced me and I vowed to become a witch.  

I remember it was in July, probably near the Summer Solstice, when I performed the self-dedication in the book.    It was credited to Margo Adler but originally written by Ed Fitch.  It was the summer between sophomore and junior year of high school, circa 1987-ish. The directions were simple – in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, sprinkle salt and light a candle.  Have water and wine to anoint yourself with and say the blessing, using the liquids to bless each part of your body listed.  

At the time I knew nothing of the health revelations coming for me and performed it faithfully.  Once I was diagnosed with MRKH I changed the one blessing to “Blessed be my loins, which give and receive pleasure.”  No children for me, I was born without key parts and yet my body is still woman-shaped.  I thought, at the ripe old age of 16, that meant I couldn’t fall into the Mother phase of Goddess.  I thought I was cut off from that part of myself.  This idea was further reinforced by a Dianic group that told me that I wasn’t a real woman because I lacked a uterus. At that age I was already more than a bit self-conscious at having been through major surgery and learning I would never have children.  I was born in an era that told girl-children our only worth was in bearing the next generation.

Because I found witchcraft young and because of my birth defect, the weaving of feminism into Wicca appealed to me.  It was a way for me to connect with my feminine side, to feel more like my body was a part of the gender assigned to me.  Not that I could be mistaken for a boy, but I often felt as if I didn’t have a real gender.  Especially when the doctors labelled me at ‘intersex’. 

This was in the 1980’s, decades before anyone even thought to care how one would identify.  I longed to not have curves, to have little or no breasts, to be androgynous.  In the ’90s when I started cosplaying at anime conventions I almost always chose to dress up as a male character.  In my own internal headspace, I identified more as a neutral being as I felt my woman-hood was tied to having a uterus.  No organ, no femininity.

Time moved forward, after Witches I read the Spiral Dance by Starhawk, followed by Scott Cunningham’s Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner.   I based my practice off of those three for a long while until the magick invention of the internet became popular.  From there I’ve been able to work with magickal heros (Francesca DeGrandis, VeeDub) and have recently joined the Covenant of Hekate and began classes with the Sisterhood of the Moon’s Women’s Mystery school.  

In between I became interested in Feri/Faerie, traditional witchcraft, folkloric witchcraft, and Shinto.  I am mainly self taught but was lucky enough to take several classes from Francesca DeGrandis as well as have lessons with Valerie Walker. Now I’m trying to get back to basics with feminist flavored witchcraft via the Sisterhood of the Moon.  

What I hope to present here is my work and how I’m going to use what I’ve learned to build a practice that is my own.  As much as I would love to be a part of a Tradition, there isn’t anything close to me and nothing online has really felt ‘correct’. 

I occasionally fancy myself a (fan)fiction writer. I’m not sure if what I will share here will be worthy of being labeled ‘well-written’. It will certainly be more stream of thought that I may tidy up to try to sound pretty. I’m also going to post pages of my work, as well as having some funny pictures. I feel as if I sound like I am a sober, perhaps melancholic, writer. In reality I tend to be a bit of a goof. I am a spectrum of chaos and instability.

Welcome to my little corner of the internet, I hope you enjoy the ride.  Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.  Thank you.